A people pleaser doesn’t always see the signs that they are in fact that, a people pleaser. They are by nature want to be supportive, needed and valued. What they don’t realise is there is a fine boundary between being a healthy people pleaser to being one who’s used, being taken advantage off, and sacrificing their own wellbeing for others.

Wondering if you’re a people pleaser?

Here are some signs that people pleasers have, they don’t necessarily have all but they will have many of them. 

Inability to say NO 

Often a people pleaser finds it extremely difficult to say NO. It’s not natural to them at all. They don’t want to hurt the feeling of the person asking. They’re fearful if they say no once, they’ll never bee asked again. They scared of rejection by saying no.

 

Fear of Rejection and Abandonment

A people pleaser worry that they’ll be rejected for not conforming to what everyone else says or does. They fear being left out or left behind. They fear having no friends, tribe or community to connect with.

 

Seeking Approval

A people pleaser doesn’t necessarily like or feel comfortable making their own decisions. They’ll seek the input form all those around them. They keep asking for input until they come to a point where they feel everyone will be happy with the action they take (whether they realise it or not). 

 

Staying in Toxic Relationships

A people pleaser fights within themselves knowing they need to remove themselves from a toxic relationship, but feeling the guilt of abandoning the person they need to get away from.  A people pleaser will feel guilt, compassion and will sacrifice their own mental wellbeing.

 

Worrying About Others

A people pleaser spends their energy worrying about others, their needs, wants and desires. They spend their time doing and creating things for others because they worry they won’t approve them if they don’t receive, or feel taken care off. 

 

Always coming last

A people pleaser never puts themselves first, they’re always putting everyone else before them, even at the sake of their wellbeing. Ensure others are taken care off, attended to, and happy is always their first focus. A people pleaser comes last on their list, often result in completely self neglect. 

 

Being a people pleaser is not a bad thing, it just requires healthy boundaries and self care so you are not compromising your self worth, self care and mental and physical wellbeing. 

You can be a people pleaser in a good way, with the right tools to help you get there. 
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