FINDING YOUR INNER STRENGTH TO YOUR PEOPLE PLEASING WAYS

Being a recovering people pleaser, it took me a long time to realise I was one. I spent years trying to understand why friends would dump me and walk away. I constantly asked myself ‘why’, ‘what did I do wrong’, ‘why would they hurt me’.  I carried the blame on myself, it must be me. I didn’t do enough, even though I know I did more than enough. Why why why.

People pleasers don’t always see the signs, they want to be supportive, needed and valued. What they don’t realise is they’re being used, taken advantage off and sacrificing their own wellbeing for others.

The minute I became a mother, and my focus was on my husband and child, I was dumped like a hot cake and spent the next 8 years wondering why.  Constantly going back over scenarios trying to understand did I say something, did I do something, is it just me that no one likes. Identifying that I’d done XYZ for them, so why did I get dumped.

We can still be people pleasers but as long as it’s on our own terms, and terms in which we are not sacrificing our own mental and physical wellbeing.

You can still give to others. Absolutely, you can. However, you can do it in a way that doesn’t find you feeling used, depleted, left out or alone, or dumped and wondering why.  

Not all people pleasers are the same, some signs are: 

  • Being afraid of rejection or abandonment
  • Focusing more on what others think and feel, rather than what you feel and think
  • Fearful of saying NO to anyone, in case they don’t ask you again
  • Seeking constant approval
  • Stuck in relationships with people where you are constantly giving and they’re constantly taking, but not knowing how to stop the cycle
  • Never putting yourself first
  • Feeling exhausted, overworked, overlooked, burnt out because you have spent so much of your time looking and worrying about others and never yourself

Working with me

When we work together,

  • We are going to acknowledge where you are and where your boundaries have been compromised.
  • We are going to look at techniques and strategies you can use to truly create healthy boundaries where you are no longer compromising yourself worth and power.
  • We are creating healthy boundaries that work for you in your life.
  • We are going to develop ways for you to say NO, but still be empowered and no longer fearful of rejection or being used.
  • We are going to teach you how to see the signs of when you’re may be vulnerable.
  • We are going to have you feeling empowered and living your truest life.

HOW IT WORKS

During the course of our sessions, you will have;

  • A pre-Coaching questionnaire to complete so we assess where you’re at and where we’re heading to
  • Private 1:1 coaching sessions with me, for 1 hour
  • Email support in between sessions
  • Exercises to undertake between sessions
  • Goals and strategies to achieve your desired results
  • A sounding board, cheerleader and support in your corner

It is important to note I am a Life Coach, not a psychologist. As Life Coach, I focus on the now and your path ahead, I do not work in the past nor deal with past issues. For this I recommend liaising with a psychologist.

    Still not 100% sure, book in for a discovery call and we can chat.